Disassociation.

Ever been so hurt you can’t cry, you can’t move, you are stuck

Stuck in no mans land full of pain, rejection & emptiness

The person who hurt you is standing right there, they are not aware you can not move

They have gone into another place, they have dissociated

This was not their intent, they did not mean to, but in a moment of anger

To protect themselves, without meaning to they locked the emotions away

The way they look at you, the love is just not there, locked up for the moment

Along with the care & understanding, they are right there watching you cry

It hurts, it cuts so deep you can’t express the pain you are in

They just don’t seem to care at all, this is like jagged glass cutting your heart in half

The pain goes into your every cell, you can feel yourself slipping straight into the dark hole

The pain is so intense it almost knocks you out, maybe that would be better you think

Then a little part of you remembers it’s not their fault

This is a part of them they can’t always control

They can control coming back, you know this inside

You know they want to, but the resistance within them is so strong

You are the anchor to their ship that tries to sail away

Stand up out of that dark hole, don’t let them look away

Show them your pain, show them you care, show them you will be there

Take them in your arms, let them relax & feel safe for a minute

Then ask them to look within, to find the embers of the fire that burns for you

Tell them to Stoke that fire, bring them back to you

As hard as it is, you know this will happen again, you will need to rescue them

You know also that the love you have is more fulfilling & joyous then the occasional pain of the disassociation.

5 Comments

  1. The struggle to connect from a place of raw vulnerability is far too difficult for many to witness. so this speaks to me.. I lived this in my last relationship and it did not survive as he could not break down his walls and I found it too hard to meet the wall and did not know what to do. therapy has helped me to understand more the limits of others but it can still hurt so much at times.. so yes, this resonates. <3

    1. It took me time to understand the limitations of others, it’s not an easy path. The way we are together is worth it. However if it was constant the situation could be very different.

      1. It is a precious gift to have someone who is prepared to battle through with you. I thought I had that now but it seems I was, once again, mistaken.. keep up the good work with working it all through.. <3 we should always keep trying to open our hearts to understand and love others no matter how they are to us..

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