Memories.

Some days it seems like I am just flooded with memories, something starts them off, & they just don’t stop.

It’s a double edged sword having an almost photographic memory. I remember everything people say to me, even the little things that don’t matter. What I love most, I remember every moment of watching my daughter grow.

The other side is I remember all the ugly things from my life. All the moments I want to forget, the moments that you realise you were right about someone, they were not who you thought they were.

It could be something someone said or did, maybe just a smell or a taste. Then one of those memories will start up, playing like a movie in your mind.

Before you know it, you are flooded by memories, the emotions start, you can feel the tears start to build, your chest gets tighter, you start to feel empty, yet there is pain & that feeling of being betrayed. This all happens at once, before you know it, you are wanting to just curl up & go to sleep.

Does anyone else experience this? Or is it just me? Am I the only one that associates smell with memories? I don’t think I could be, as the sense of smell is the most reliable memory, according to experts.

So today, I had a really good day, then I was hit with all of this. For an hour or so I was too overwhelmed to do much about it, then I said no, not today. If this was a PTSD memory I would not have been able to.

So here I sit, starting to feel more me again. I am aware that not everyone can turn their moods around, my father taught me so many things, this was something he taught me, as my mind is like his, it never stops.

You also may have noticed, I love a good filter! 😏

2 Comments

  1. The emotional center of the brains is very close to the sense of smell centers.. We studied this in aromatherapy.. I think as you awaken your past rises up to be re-experienced and understood or so we can feel thing we may not have been able to feel so fully before.. that has most certainly been my experience.. It helps us to deepen and grow.. I try to embrace these memories now.. its a process.. all meant to be.. <3

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